When Wine-O’Clock Hits: What to Do Instead of Drinking

If your usual drinking hour is approaching, give it a specific alternative: change rooms, eat something, choose an activity and contact someone you trust. The ideas below are practical peer support. If you may be dependent on alcohol, get medical advice before stopping.

If you’re wondering how to stop drinking every night, the time you usually pour your first drink can feel like the hardest part. This is about what to do instead of drinking at night: changing the scene, finding a different ritual and making a manageable plan for the evening.

If you may be physically dependent on alcohol, speak to a GP or alcohol service before stopping or sharply reducing your drinking. Read the NHS advice on stopping safely.

There was a time when a certain point in the day meant one thing to me.

Wine.

I could have had the best intentions in the world that morning. I could have decided I wasn’t drinking. I could have genuinely meant it.

And then late afternoon would arrive.

Suddenly, all those very sensible thoughts from 9am were being renegotiated by a completely different version of me.

Maybe just one.

I’ve had a stressful day.

I’ll start properly tomorrow.

It’s nearly the weekend anyway.

Sound familiar?

For me, one of the hardest things about stopping drinking wasn’t deciding that I wanted something different.

It was figuring out what the hell to do at the time I would normally pour a drink.

Because drinking wasn’t just the drink.

It was a marker in my day.

Work is finished.
Dinner is cooking.
I can relax now.
This is my reward.

So when I took the wine away, there was a bloody great hole where that ritual used to be.

And initially, I needed to fill it.

Change your evening drinking routine: get out of the kitchen

This sounds ridiculously simple, but it helped me enormously.

If standing in the kitchen cooking dinner with a glass of wine was part of your routine, then standing in the exact same kitchen, at the exact same time, doing the exact same thing, but trying desperately not to have the wine, can feel miserable.

Change the scene.

Get outside.

Walk the dogs.

Go for a jog.

Phone someone.

Have a shower.

Do something that physically interrupts the sequence your brain knows so well.

You aren't trying to solve forever.

You're getting through wine-o'clock.

That's it.

Give your hands a different drink

Sometimes I didn't actually need wine.

I needed the ritual of making something, pouring something and having a nice drink next to me while I cooked.

So make something else feel like a treat.

One of my favourites is elderflower, lime, fresh mint and soda water.

Get the nice glass out. Add ice.

Or become temporarily obsessed with really good coffee. Herbal teas. Fresh juices. Weird flavoured sparkling waters.

One small warning from experience, though.

I managed to transfer my wine obsession to diet cola for a while.

Turns out I am nothing if not committed.

So notice if you're simply swapping one compulsive habit for another.

What to do instead of drinking at night

Preferably one that makes your life bigger rather than smaller.

Walk.

Jog.

Run.

Climb a mountain and run back down it. Highly recommend.

Swim. Join a gym. Try a sauna and cold plunge. Join a hiking group. Play netball. Learn to crochet. Bake bread. Paint something. Tackle that DIY job you’ve been putting off. Fix a bike. Build a shelf. Grow an unreasonable number of houseplants.

It really doesn't matter what it is.

One of the unexpected things about drinking less, and eventually not drinking at all, was discovering how much time there actually is.

Evenings exist.

Weekend mornings exist.

Sunday exists!

You suddenly get all these bits of your life back, and at first you might have absolutely no idea what to do with them.

That's okay.

Try things.

Deploy the cupboard of chaos

Come on.

You've got one.

The drawer/cupboard/room where things are placed because nobody knows where else they belong.

Go and sort it out.

This isn't me suggesting that sobriety requires you to become a domestic goddess.

It's distraction.

Sometimes you need something, anything, that occupies your brain and your hands while the urge is there. Distraction, talking to someone you trust and planning around triggers are among the options in NIAAA’s guidance on coping with alcohol cravings. If you need more help, seek professional support.

Declutter a drawer.

Rearrange your plants.

Clean something.

Put your headphones on and walk around the block.

Make a brew and have a biscuit.

Read ten pages of a book.

The activity doesn't have to change your life.

It just has to change
the next half an hour.

Spend some of the money

If you've been drinking regularly, have you worked out what you were actually spending?

Because… ouch.

Use some of it.

Go to the cinema.

Buy the bits for a project you’ve wanted to start.

Get your nails done.

Book a sound bath.

Try pottery painting.

Go karting.

Goat yoga apparently exists, so frankly the world is your oyster.

Give yourself things to look forward to that don't involve drinking.

Especially in the beginning.

You're not depriving yourself of something.

You're making room for other things.

When stopping drinking forever feels overwhelming

Don't start thinking about Christmas.

Or your birthday.

Or the holiday you've got booked next summer.

Don't wonder whether you'll toast your child's wedding with champagne one day.

Your brain absolutely loves taking one difficult Tuesday evening and turning it into:

BUT HOW WILL I NEVER DRINK AGAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?

You don't have to answer that question tonight.

You don't even have to ask it.

Make the mocktail.

Walk the dog.

Sort out the cupboard of chaos.

Put your pyjamas on ridiculously early if you need to.

Get yourself to bed.

Tomorrow can look after itself.

Forever feels big. Today doesn't.

Today will do.

Need a little help getting through the moment? Visit the Craving Corner for a breathing exercise, a puzzle or a kitchen disco.

If you’re still asking “Do I drink too much?”, you don’t need a dramatic story to take that question seriously. If forever is the part that frightens you, read Does Quitting Drinking Mean Forever?